Clay Aiken recently stunned the nation with the revelation that he’s still alive. Also he’s running for Congress.
Aiken’s political platform isn’t especially clear. Apparently he wants to help disadvantaged kids, or some shit. Also he is NOT a politician and, with a knowing chuckle, emphasizes that he never wants to be. He just wants to bring some hope and change to Washington and, gosh darn it, isn’t that what an elected official is supposed to do?
Aiken announced his bid with a puzzling 5 minute long YouTube soliloquy that raised far more questions that it answered. At first I thought it was some sort of audition reel for a regional Raleigh production of Our Town. It wasn’t until I was 3 minutes in to the tastefully blocked monologue that I realized that this was supposed to be some sort of political advertisement. Nonetheless I’ll give Aiken some credit for upgrading his look. Clay brings his glamour game hard with a cobalt blue button down shirt, sleeves rolled ruggedly high, khaki slacks and a slender brown belt. Clearly Clay wants to prove that he’s of the people, for the people, and nothing makes that more clear than rocking apparel from Sears.
Most memories of Clay Aiken revolve around grizzly images of him in triple thick pancake foundation and a modified auburn bowl cut. Aiken ditches the baby dyke coif and strips down his makeup to a simple, thin application of Revlon Warm Ivory. Never before has his makeup been so restrained. He still looks like a strangely ashen version of Howdy Doody (a little blusher never hurt, Clay) but the parred down make up and sensible back comb makes it clear that the man means business.
If you have far too much money and absolutely no shame, you can contribute to Clay’s political campaign via one of the several convenient links on his website. Clay might lack any real credentials to be a congressman, but I’ll wish him luck regardless. After all the thought him trying to recoup his campaign debt through a rejuvenated musical career is a far more frightening alternative.