I’ve done it. After years of painstaking research, I have at last found it: The Absolute Gayest Thing on the Internet. It is with great esteem and some trepidation that I present the following video to you. Such a work of exquisite beauty needs no introduction, and even the finest wordsmith would fail to truly capture its pulpy, faggy essence. Simply sit back, brace yourself and behold:
Yes, that was a music video for Kylie Minogue’s Get Outta My Way. Anything in any way related to Kylie Minogue is faggy enough to begin with, but God bless the canny, queer genius who thought to combine Kylie Minogue’s words and music to this imagery. “Can’t possibly make Kylie Minogue any gayer,” you arrogantly think. But how about Kylie Minogue… as lip-synced by gay porn stars? And with this simple gesture all of our minds are as blown as those gentlemen’s cocks.
This blog is routinely visited by faggots, so I’m sure the lot of you can make a drinking game out of naming all of the Randy Blue porn stars that appear in this masterpiece. I could not begrudge any of my readers a chance to blow a load or two or four to this video, but I advise you to take a moment away from dildo-pounding your stretched out assholes to savor the simple beauty of this video. I know of no other thing on this Earth that can so effectively restore my faith in mankind. This is just… so pure, so magical, so whimsical. The whole thing would be downright wholesome were those men’s bodies not so thoroughly riddled with human papilloma virus.
Bless you, Satan, for bringing this into my life.