I know what you’re thinking and no, that isn’t Michelle Kwan in Jem & The Holograms drag. This is Jang Keun-suk, the current resident flame in my heart, your future celebrity crush and The Embittered Queen dot com’s Babe of the Month!
Keun-Suk is a radiant symbol of Korean virility and a serial lady killer amongst his nation. Comparatively speaking Jang Keun-suk functions a lot like a Korean Ryan Gosling, albeit significantly more glittery. Keun-suk is the star of my very favorite k-drama, Pretty Man (typing that makes me think of Superman soaring majestically across the sky, caked in rouge) but now that I’ve unleashed him onto you I’m sure he will be blowing up your Facebook and Twitter feeds from now on. I’ve featured a famous selfie of him which is sure to be your new desktop background. It would take an entire team of scholars months to properly dissect the brilliance of this photo, but let me take you on a brief tour. You will first note the impeccable eyeliner; Keun-Suk has an extremely deft hand. I would be remiss if I did not laud the iced silver underliner. I am ALWAYS searching for new uses for my Glitter Liquid Liner Superpack from Claire’s, but the bitch went ahead and beat me to the punch. Hot damn. And that hair. Yes, the front barrel curl frames the face impeccably, but far more importantly it serves to highlight that UN.BE.LIEV.ABLE. crimped pony hair-extension. (Clock the nylon white scrunchie.) My favorite part of my childhood skipper doll was the trampy crimped hair extension that came with it. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it. With a simple snap of a clip, my skipper could go from slutty to full-on Lohan. Astounding. Nothing tops the transformative effects of a clip-in hair crimp, nothing. Many men have looks, others have charm, but a scant few possess such a refined palette. Gorgeous and brilliant? Now that’s the complete package.
Sadly, Keun-suk is much too bogged down in pussy to ever notice a girl like me, but a girl can dream, can’t she? And this one shall. Thank you, Jang Keun-suk, for your radiant, ethereal hotness and for making this world a much glitterier place.