I Will Only Shed A Single Tear.

The Jeremy Meeks mug shot sensation has ignited a flurry of discussion around the facial tattoo phenomenon, specifically concerning the fuckability of facially tattooed individuals.  Speaking as someone who has a long history of courting and bedding such a broad cross section of this community, I feel that it is important that I contribute my opinions to this pressing issue.

 

image

 

In my many encounters with curiously modified gentleman, I have come to follow a simple guideline.  Should a heavily tatted man catch your attention, be it in a bar, a sauna, or a back alley, check the head and neck.  Consider neck tattoos a flashing yellow light.  By all means proceed, but do so with caution.  For instance, if the neck tattoo(s) involve emblazoned names of past lovers, you can safely surmise that this is a committed and passionate individual.  But ask yourself; are you ready for such a long term commitment?  Tonight’s passion can quickly snowball into tomorrow’s court date, so be sure to be fully aware of just what you’re getting into.  As for facial tattoos, consider this a clear red light.  Stop, do not proceed, and consider alternate avenues for your physical and emotional needs.

Having said this I know that there will still be a large number of people who ignore my advice and proceed to engage their potential lovers, facial tattoos and all.  I will admit that there are some advantages to dating a man with facial tattoos.  They tend to be passionate lovers and anyone who will permanently etch your likeness on their person clearly harbors no fear of commitment.  Furthermore facial art is a great ice breaker for parties and an inexhaustible source of conversational fodder.  Aesthetically speaking, facial art has to be evaluated on a case by case basis.  If your lover’s facial art is a single bold gesture, such as Mike Tyson’s iconic face ink, this can prove to be a great conversation piece and artful in its own special way.  However I have found that one facial tattoo is rarely enough and the wearer invariably gives in to the temptation to take on more, more and still more facial art.  When head and neck tattoos take on Michelle Bombshell McGee proportions, then the facial art has gone past cute, curious or avant-garde and is now just hideous.  This could be your future husband, folks, and there’s just no way to salvage a decent Christmas card photo with that kind of ink.

This brings us back to Jeremy Meeks.  I’ve got to say, when your beauty can shine through a collar of neck ink and a teardrop tattoo, you are fucking hot.  The growing collection of Meeks mug shot memes can attest to this.  Hopefully the notoriety generated from this now iconic photo can come to help Meeks with his inevitable legal bills.  His Mother insists that Meeks is a victim of neck tattoo profiling and has started a Go Fund Me page to assist with his legal bills.  So if you feel for this man, or just want to tip a hot bitch for being so pretty, I implore you to contribute.  Despite his newfound fame, Meeks is still in a distinctly unenviable position.  Those piercing blue eyes and pouty lips are now the stuff of legend, so throughout all the chaos and uncertainty of his current legal woes hopefully Meeks can take some small comfort in the fact that he has contributed to the zeitgeist.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s