Babe of the Month: Mark Selby

Rack ‘em up, readers, for our July Babe of the Month has arrived.  I present to you Mr. Mark Selby, champion snooker player, jokester, and superbly fine piece of ass.

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I previously thought that snookering meant modeling cut-rate Snooki drag for weed money, but apparently it’s a bona fide thing and Mark Selby is the Michelle Kwan of it.  Selby is the current World Snooker Champion, but far more importantly he’s hot.  Imagine a younger, cleaner Adam Levine that doesn’t look like a small time meth dealer and you’ve got Mark Selby.  He’s known as the Jester from Leicester, but I gotta’ tell you, that ass is no joke.

That thing just doesn’t quit.  It’s like two plump rump roasts wrapped in boxer briefs and stuffed into a gloriously snug set of slacks.  His ass has attained its own celebrity, generating more press lately than he has.  That’s an understandable scenario, given the utter perfection of his hindquarters.  You’d think that Selby would beat off lusty gay suitors with a pool cue but, in a cruel twist of fate, Mark Selby and his ass are both heterosexuals.  The profound tragedy of this fact cannot be overstated.  Such a deliciously firm ass is destined to hungrily clap down on a cock like a true dick pig should, but sadly his wife would probably contest such a scenario.  Fate is a cruel, fickle thing.

Mark Selby and his glorious ass will have to be relegated to masturbatory fodder.  Fap away, readers, but please remember this.  Bottoming on a pool table is a tried and true tradition but just remember silicone-based lube stains.  Be advised.

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