I am an immensely fortunate person. It is true that I am in no want of food or shelter and live a fairly comfortable life, but that’s not why I consider myself fortunate. It is also true that I have an exciting career blogging for the rapture of tens upon tens of people, but that’s not why I consider myself so lucky. I consider myself so blessed and fortunate because I have known of the existence of Glamorous Monique for many years. A great many are just learning about the wonder and the majesty of Glamorous Monique however I’ve been basking in her radiant beauty for years and years. I know, it just doesn’t seem fair.
For the sake of those poor souls who don’t know who I’m talking about, I present to you Glamorous Monique.
Glamorous Monique is a trans icon and a purveyor of pure, unspoiled beauty. For years Monique has been working as a nightlife fixture. She not only serves flawless couture and effortless face but she has also made waves for her original music. 38 Triple F, Punch My Kitty and the aptly titled The People’s Tranny are all under recognized musical jems that should live on and prosper in the hearts, minds and smart phones of discerning homosexuals.
As you can see, Glamorous Monique wears many hats, model, actress, musician, provocateur but she is just now breaking through to a wider audience with her recent appearance on E!’s Botched, a reality television show that centers on people who have had botched plastic surgery. Botched? Hardly. We’re talking about a woman who has labored tirelessly to embody the perfect three-way love child of Jackie Stallone, Amanda Lepore and Bruce Jenner. This is an artist at work and it says woeful things about our society that she has not been suitably exalted for this. Glamorous Monique is a masterpiece from head to toe, be it her unclockable style, indulgently ample bosom or her delicate collagen curves. If I had to choose one favorite feature, I would have to choose her lips. Her lips are like a prolapsed sideways vagina teetering precariously (yet deliciously!) on a duckbill. That alone would be too much for lesser women, but Monique goes a step further and shellacs them until they have reached a flawless ceramic sheen. This, dear readers, is perfection.
You’ll have to tune in to see whether LA’s finest surgeons could in any way further refine Monique’s already flawless features. After that take to the internet, take to the streets and spread the word. Let everyone know about the regal majesty of Glamorous Monique. I recommend getting in on this now. It’s only a matter of time until she gets an American Apparel endorsement deal and finally receives the recognition that she deserves. Don’t be the last fag to jump on the Glamorous Monique band wagon and one day you can say that you knew her when.