Babe of the Month returns just in time for Halloween. Halloween is a special time of year. It’s a time when even the most mundane, mousy and reticent amongst us can reach deep down inside their closets and their souls and reveal their true selves. All too often, their true self turns out to be a huge slut, thereby validating my world view. Whether your true self manifests itself in the form of a sexy carrot, a sexy ear of corn, or the sure to be ubiquitous sexy ebola nurse, may the spirit of Halloween infect you all with mirth, merriment and trichomoniasis.
I have spent all month ruminating on a suitably foxy goth to take the Babe of the Month crown for the Halloween season. After a turbulent month of internal deliberation, I present to you the perennial princess of the gothic kingdom, the inimitable Mana.
Mana rose to fame as the guitarist for venerable Visual Kei band Malice Mizer but he has since gone on to claim international superstardom as a goth fashion icon. Icon isn’t a strong enough word. Mana is an absolute titan in spooky fashion. Picture a transvestite Dita Von Teese mashed with a goth Bob Mackie and you have some idea of the awesome breadth of Mana’s iconoclastic glamour. Look, we all went through a gothic lolita stage in high school. If yours was anything like mine, it was dominated by Hello Kitty lunchboxes, a shit ton of bracelets, Manic Panic Deadly Nightshade lip color (I learned the hard way that black lipstick is never conducive to giving a decent blowjob) and treasured dog-eared issues of The Gothic Lolita Bible. It was then that I was introduced to Mana’s breathtaking beauty and my dreams have never been the same.
Mana’s life is shrouded in mystery, sheathed in stretchable glow in the dark spider webs, and adorned with black lipstick. Little is known of his personal life but if the rumors are true, Mana is a heterosexual. Ryan Gosling and Nick Jonas can fuck off into oblivion. If you’re looking a fucking stud, it’s Mana. Transvestites get a bad rap. Far too many women are too intimidated to date a man that’s prettier than they are but that is a pity. If anyone can erase this prejudice, it’s Mana. This man’s beauty transcends gender and sexuality, emerging in a higher plane of human fuckability. I could stare at Mana for hours, quaking in rapture. Mana is a cosplay legend and his luminous beauty has inspired countless admirers to vie for fashion glory. Godspeed little goths.
It is my hope that Mana’s immeasurable foxiness will inspire you to strive for your own personal cosplay glory this Halloween. Knock yourselves out, kids. Just don’t take any unwrapped candy. That didn’t work out for Rock Hudson and it’s not going to work out for you.